I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
