You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
