It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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