it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
