i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
