dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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