Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
