That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
