Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
