no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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