Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
