He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
