and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize