After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
