please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
