Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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