He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
