I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
