Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
