Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
There r osticjed everywhere
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
