I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
