i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
