We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
