Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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