Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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