we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
