just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
