i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
