Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
