Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
