Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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