Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
