i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.