Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!