I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible