he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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