you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
