i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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