we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Sext me about skeletons
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
