just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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