you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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