I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize