We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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