oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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