Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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