If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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