Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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