i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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