If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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