You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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