need another drink. this is the easiest way
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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