But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
