I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
