The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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