Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
