Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize