Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
