Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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