Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
he shaved USA in his pubs
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
