The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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