Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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