Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Are we still banned from the library?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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